As we came through the recent equinox, where day and night are the same…it got me thinking about balance.  In ESP we talk about the wagon wheel of life…how all 4 aspects of our lives – physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual need to have an equal listening to.  That is, if we are focussing too much on one aspect to the detriment of the other 3, then our wheel is not in balance and will not turn as smoothly. It would be like being flung around the rim, not centred at the axis of the wheel.  Yesterday a family member who drives an audi demonstrated the alarm that goes off in his car when one wheel is under-inflated.  His car told me that there was a wheel that was out of balance and needed attention.  If only we had a similar internal system.

I know, for instance, that if I spend less time on my physical than perhaps I could then I feel out of balance because of it.  My body has a way of letting me know about this – with aches and pains, more weight, feeling tired or getting sick.

Intellectually I can get an alarm bell going off if I am feeling bored.  For me, intellectual pursuits are linked with creativity.  If I am not firing my creativity synapses, I will feel bored and lethargic.  Stimulation of the intellect is called for – reading, writing, painting, music, singing. Particularly singing for me!

Emotionally I get an alarm if I am going down the path of staying back at the river.  There is an old story – not sure of it origins – about a monk and his apprentice walking by a river.  There is a woman at the river needing to cross.  Their vows are such that they are forbidden to touch women.  The woman begs for help to cross the river and the monk carries her across.  About an hour later, the apprentice is very troubled and remarks to the monk that he should not have helped that woman that it went against their vows.  The Monk said: “I left the woman back at the river, have you?”  I am so often reminded that if I am carrying extra emotional burdens then there’s some leaving at the river I need to do.

Spiritually for me, I notice when I am feeling stressed about time, energy, money or direction, I am not paying enough attention to my inner world and some ‘me’ time is needed.  I love the saying that if you don’t feel like you have enough time to meditate for 20 minutes a day you need to do an hour!  If time, energy, money or direction feels like an issue, I commit to meditating more.

It’s all about balance.  How are you travelling?  How is your wheel feeling? Are you hanging on for grim death round the edges or are you centred in the axis, stable and solid with the whole of yourself?

I am a chronically early person.  I arrive 10 minutes early for everything.  Even the dentist!  I’ve always been early, was even born early.  My nickname is early Merly.  I find that my anxiety levels rise when I have to be somewhere, to do something.  When someone else is dependent on me to be there – even if that is the dentist.  I have made an agreement and I will honour that above everything else in my life.  For some reason my sense of living in the present goes out the window and I take a step into the future – and surprise surprise, carry some anxiety with me.

I never have allowed my white rabbit to really surface.  Just the thought of it causes me stress.  I saw how is worked  just yesterday on the road – driving anywhere it’s hard not to come across someone who is late, late, late for a very important date…so important that anything that gets in the way is treated with distain and a loud blow of the horn.

I’m starting to realise that there is little difference between that stressed out person who is very late and very important to me who feels just as justified in ‘being stressed’ to make sure I am 10 minutes early.

All that talk about Timey Wimey (Dr. Who ref) stuff is really so irrelevant when we think about it.  What perspective am I coming from?   If its true that anxiety is always about living in the future, which I do believe, then here is my challenge.  To remain in the present. To be where I am now and know that from there I can make decisions about how I want to be.  From here I find that I will always be exactly on time – in alignment with other people and knowing that the time is always perfect.

Life is not a business to be managed; it’s a mystery to be lived.  My goal is to live more like a sage…a sage always walks, (S)he never runs, (S)he may be in a hurry but (s)he never runs.

What is your relationship with time?