In the Driver's Seat

A crazy amount of change has been happening…and the real challenge for me has to do with staying in that energetic state of mind that is my LEARNING ZONE.

I am discovering the point where I can flip over into my panic zone straight out of my learning zone without notice and without drawing breath.

For me the trigger is a feeling of ‘not good enough’.  My ‘not good enough’ manifests as panic, rigidity and downright shut down. 

When I manage to stay in my Learning Zone – that is the zone that is outside my comfort zone, that stretches me and grows me – I get to reap the benefits: excitement, aliveness, anticipation, and mostly flexibility.  When I flip over and find myself out in terror-tory I can easily sink into panic – like being at the door of a perfectly good plane with no parachute on my back – no thanks.

The I-ching this month talks about not forcing and perhaps allowing a change to emerge and being ‘flexible’ enough to allow a change in a conviction.  This for me this is key to helping me navigate back to my learning zone.  Sometimes it’s as easy – and as hard – as asking the right question. 

Last week I was locked out of my emails….my life line.  I was not able to get onto ‘the system’ so I was not able to complete what I perceived as my work for the week.  I admit to a few very stressful and panic moments.  Feelings of helplessness, frustration and well, I’m sure you can all recognise that…I was in reaction most of the time. When I finally found some space from my panic, and asked myself: “I wonder what I can learn from this, why is this be happening now?” I realised that I needed some space to take a breath.  It was like a gift – if I could have seen it.  Ok, you need a few days off – here you go! What a shame that I didn't see that earlier and relax into something I couldn’t change anyway.  What a waste of energy really that I could have channeled into chill-out!

There is an adage that we never change unless we HAVE to.  Something will inevitably come along to force our hand and make us move in some direction.  I think in this time of major upheavals on the planet, it might be time to take back that power, and bring in some proactiveness.  I have decided that I need to really change my reactive nature in the face of not feeling good enough. I ‘know’ that my best IS good enough, so I choose to change.  I have a choice where I choose to live; in my comfort zone where life is safe, easy and slightly boring; in my panic terror-tory where life is stressful, anxious and frustrating or in my learning zone where life is challenging, slightly risky and edgy, exciting and alive.  If the question that I ask is: where am I living now in this moment? What is my answer?  Am I in choice and I allowing myself an attitude of flexibility of conviction?  If I can choose learning, I can choose…I am in choice…I am in the driver’s seat.

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