I am a chronically early person. I arrive 10 minutes early for everything. Even the dentist! I’ve always been early, was even born early. My nickname is early Merly. I find that my anxiety levels rise when I have to be somewhere, to do something. When someone else is dependent on me to be there – even if that is the dentist. I have made an agreement and I will honour that above everything else in my life. For some reason my sense of living in the present goes out the window and I take a step into the future – and surprise surprise, carry some anxiety with me.
I never have allowed my white rabbit to really surface. Just the thought of it causes me stress. I saw how is worked just yesterday on the road – driving anywhere it’s hard not to come across someone who is late, late, late for a very important date…so important that anything that gets in the way is treated with distain and a loud blow of the horn.
I’m starting to realise that there is little difference between that stressed out person who is very late and very important to me who feels just as justified in ‘being stressed’ to make sure I am 10 minutes early.
All that talk about Timey Wimey (Dr. Who ref) stuff is really so irrelevant when we think about it. What perspective am I coming from? If its true that anxiety is always about living in the future, which I do believe, then here is my challenge. To remain in the present. To be where I am now and know that from there I can make decisions about how I want to be. From here I find that I will always be exactly on time – in alignment with other people and knowing that the time is always perfect.
Life is not a business to be managed; it’s a mystery to be lived. My goal is to live more like a sage…a sage always walks, (S)he never runs, (S)he may be in a hurry but (s)he never runs.
What is your relationship with time?